So the shoe lace of pain....it's all noodled in my head mainly.
Some of it is on the outside in the ear canal.
Part of the string has dried to the top of the canal. The blood
Ever pull a stuck zipper lose?
That ripping grinding noise?
Yeah, that's kind of what it was like when the doctor
started to pull the stuck part but it was my flesh not a zipper
and I could hear it and feel it.
I know, awesome right!
But that wasn't even the worst part, it was just an hors-d'oeuvre.
Because after that he was pulling the rest of the strip
out of my head. That meant pulling any stuck parts inside
lose while also allowing cool fresh air to rush inside to flow
all over the raw meat within.
It was a searing hot painful oven in there. It was great.
The pain killer I took 20 or so minutes ago really didn't
take any edge off of that. I should have just eaten
a bag of Skittles.
The strip looked like a blood soaked noodle with black specks
and some slime.
That's not even the worst part even though it hurt way more
then having the first dried stuck part pulled free at the
Pulling out the noodle of misery allowed blood and stuff to
start pooling in my head. So the doctor vacuumed that out.
If you've never had your ear vacuumed you'll never understand
It's incredibly loud and 100% unfun. The pressure change alone
sucks but it's like explosions in your head plus the suction.
Now we're up to the good stuff. The strip is out, I've been
vacuumed, and the new strip is ready to go in.
Have you ever had one of those rake-like bruise-cuts?
You know, the bruise with the straight line cuts in it?
I think you get them from falling on cement or sliding
on really bad carpet.
So if you've ever had one of those and cleaned it with
peroxide or alcohol you know that wonderful
feeling. Just add a good hard slap on top of that to
really drive home the sensation.
Take that pain and condense it into an area smaller
then a postage stamp and put that pain inside your head
where your eardrum used to be.
Now have that pain explode in you eight to ten times.
Because that's how many times the forceps were used
to push the new strip inside my head.
That's the part that really had me 'uncomfortable'.
At that point your entire existence is "I have to get
home to take another pill."
I'm bringing them with me next time
The icing on the cake was the finishing move where the doctor
had to hold my head with one hand and using a single finger
push the absorbent strip firmly in my head. You know, to make
sure he did a good job or something.
A cotton patch was placed over the ear because I
was oozing blood and I was allowed to go home.
I get to do this again two more times in the next two weeks.
Surgery BullshitSo I got unwrapped today and got all the details
from the doctor.
It wasn't good.
In fact it's pretty much the opposite of what I was expecting.
Real simple. In 2013 I had a tumor removed from my
inner ear. It wrecked my hearing.
Then I had a post op infection that lasted almost 3 full months.
After that I had to let the stuff heal and then a follow up
surgery was supposed to reconstruct as much of my hearing
as possible. That was delayed because my Dad passed away
and then my appendix exploded and had to be removed.
Yesterday when I was opened up the doctor found a new
tumor and the planned reconstruction got turned into a demolition.
That's why surgery was an hour longer then expected and
probably why I was in so much pain in recovery.
Originally surgery was supposed to be 3 to 4 hours but
ended up being right around 5. Plus an hour+ in recovery.
It was pretty bad so they gave me something, I dunno what, that
was really strong and had me still feeling the effects a good
seven hours l