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About Deviant Premium Member My name is Baron™®Other/Unknown Group :iconsuper--sculptors: Super--Sculptors
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Deviant for 8 Years
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Best worst blind date job reveal.... 

5 deviants said "After having three sex changes I decided to become a vlogger...."
3 deviants said "Oh I just donate sperm to four or five clinics and then video stream on Twitch..."
3 deviants said "I'm a retired prostitute, I opened a massage parlor and a bath house."
3 deviants said "I dig graves as a hobby but mostly I pan for change downtown."
1 deviant said "I'm the project manager for a pharmaceutical company that uses animals for research."
1 deviant said "I live in my parent's basement and have a paper route."
1 deviant said "I run a mobile senior enema van company. We serve like 40 old age homes now."
The doctor's visit…

AAAAA!!!!!! by flutterguy317

So the shoe lace of's all noodled in my head mainly.
Some of it is on the outside in the ear canal.
Part of the string has dried to the top of the canal. The blood
scabbed up.

Ever pull a stuck zipper lose?
That ripping grinding noise?
Yeah, that's kind of what it was like when the doctor
started to pull the stuck part but it was my flesh not a zipper
and I could hear it and feel it.
I know, awesome right!

But that wasn't even the worst part, it was just an hors-d'oeuvre.

Because after that he was pulling the rest of the strip
out of my head. That meant pulling any stuck parts inside
lose while also allowing cool fresh air to rush inside to flow
all over the raw meat within.

It was a searing hot painful oven in there. It was great.
The pain killer I took 20 or so minutes ago really didn't
take any edge off of that. I should have just eaten
a bag of Skittles.

The strip looked like a blood soaked noodle with black specks
and some slime.

That's not even the worst part even though it hurt way more
then having the first dried stuck part pulled free at the

Pulling out the noodle of misery allowed blood and stuff to
start pooling in my head. So the doctor vacuumed that out.
If you've never had your ear vacuumed you'll never understand
the pain.
It's incredibly loud and 100% unfun. The pressure change alone
sucks but it's like explosions in your head plus the suction.

Now we're up to the good stuff. The strip is out, I've been
vacuumed, and the new strip is ready to go in.

Have you ever had one of those rake-like bruise-cuts?
You know, the bruise with the straight line cuts in it?
I think you get them from falling on cement or sliding
on really bad carpet.

So if you've ever had one of those and cleaned it with
peroxide or alcohol you know that wonderful
feeling. Just add a good hard slap on top of that to
really drive home the sensation.

Take that pain and condense it into an area smaller
then a postage stamp and put that pain inside your head
where your eardrum used to be.

Now have that pain explode in you eight to ten times.
Because that's how many times the forceps were used
to push the new strip inside my head.
That's the part that really had me 'uncomfortable'.
At that point your entire existence is "I have to get
home to take another pill."
I'm bringing them with me next time

The icing on the cake was the finishing move where the doctor
had to hold my head with one hand and using a single finger
push the absorbent strip firmly in my head. You know, to make
sure he did a good job or something.

vomit bag avatar by 0-4

A cotton patch was placed over the ear because I
was oozing blood and I was allowed to go home.

I get to do this again two more times in the next two weeks.

Related to:

Surgery BullshitSo I got unwrapped today and got all the details
from the doctor.
It wasn't good.
In fact it's pretty much the opposite of what I was expecting.
Real simple. In 2013 I had a tumor removed from my
inner ear. It wrecked my hearing.
Then I had a post op infection that lasted almost 3 full months.
After that I had to let the stuff heal and then a follow up
surgery was supposed to reconstruct as much of my hearing
as possible. That was delayed because my Dad passed away
and then my appendix exploded and had to be removed.
Yesterday when I was opened up the doctor found a new
tumor and the planned reconstruction got turned into a demolition.
That's why surgery was an hour longer then expected and
probably why I was in so much pain in recovery.
Originally surgery was supposed to be 3 to 4 hours but
ended up being right around 5. Plus an hour+ in recovery.
It was pretty bad so they gave me something, I dunno what, that
was really strong and had me still feeling the effects a good
seven hours l


My name is Baron™®
"Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future."
--Nils Bohr, Nobel laureate in Physics

“Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprize."
--James Madison to William Bradford, April 1, 1774

"All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach."
--Adolf Hitler

“You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

Billionaire Nick Hanauer is refreshingly honest about this: ‘If it was true that lower taxes for the rich and more wealth for the wealthy led to job creation, today we would be drowning in jobs'.

Internecine specialist:P


:iconffleret: :iconinfiniteriver: :iconbersekers1: :iconkittygirl7878: :iconcorvindicus:


Add a Comment:
xclaux Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Yoo thanks for the llama, take one back
AvidCommenter Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015   Writer
Hey, you know that kid that locked the forum thread that was complaining about his depression and how trolls are affecting him, the whole thing about them wanting to kill himself and whatnot? 

It looks like what I said got to him as he kind of make a journal about me. And I very much pissed him off as he said so in the comments to one of his friends.

All I did was give solid advice, but the child couldn't handle the truth. :shrug:

Anyway here it is: I just don't understand (rant)
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
It's bait.
AvidCommenter Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015   Writer
I agree. He's a fucking idiot.
SeraphiXKerrigan Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015
Thank you for the Llama! *tackles and hugs*
emesalvatore Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
Hi, I wanted to ask if you could donate to me some points. 
Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you!
ebolachanplz Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015
:iconshewantsyouplz: i can give you ebollama ^.^
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for adding Sketchdump march 2015 - 01 to your collections. I'm happy that you like the piece :la:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015
andlighet Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
She blocked me, so I can't respond to your reply on the journal. :lol:

But yes, I agree.
Coffee--Pot Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Who?! I wanna see the Lolz
andlighet Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ichigo lol. I left a comment on her journal and she blocked me without replying. :lol:
Coffee--Pot Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thats because you're a white knight silly
(1 Reply)
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015
Oh then I have to be blocked as well since I was asking if she was retarded.:meow:
andlighet Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Has she gotten around to it yet? :saddummy:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015
(1 Reply)
TheRoyalCrownJewel Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't you think your name would've been in bad taste with the Ebola epidemic in Africa?
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
Nope. I used the name well before that happened and only stupid people would be upset with it.
RapeBabies, (insertname)IsDeadLOL, and stuff like that, yeah that would be in bad taste and worth ridicule.
TheRoyalCrownJewel Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ah. I see.

Just threw it out there because people don't necessarily take current events like that lightly. It could've been a "too soon" scenario. But I see you narrowly avoided it.
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
I didn't avoid anything and even if I changed the name at the height of the outbreak it's still not cause to be upset.
Influenza killed hundreds of millions and it's got songs, nursery rhymes, and poetry.
If it's not a specific or direct attack, it's all fair.

The people who don't take "current events lightly" are the overreacting uneducated Kony2012
nitwits, SJWs, cellar dwellers, and PC police who jump from outrage topic to outrage topic.
(1 Reply)
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
Gödel's first cheese theorem

"Any effectively generated theory capable of making cheese cannot be both consistent and complete."

skulkey Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
had to save that one for posterity, eh? :lol:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
TheEbonizer Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
Ebola bears are the best bears
Add a Comment: